Friday 7 December 2018

Driving standards Pt 1

Ok, it's been a while since I posted and although this is setting out to be a rant, I need to get it off my chest as I'm sick to the back teeth of shit road users. 

We all make the odd faux pas here and there and I'm not claiming to be perfect or know every bit of the highway code but there is a part of me that wonders how some of these imbeciles got a license in the first place or aren't dead (yet).

Let's start with the urban and country scourge known as The Cyclist.  Not all of them, but a select few who must be suffering suffocation as the air supply is blocked off by the lycra round their neck and their head up their arse.

Firstly, riding in groups and using up ALL the fucking road, at 15mph.  No matter if it's through urban streets with frigging traffic calming bollards at spaced intervals so you can't get past, or in the sticks, on a single track lane, where, you can't get past.  These bastards have no road sense or regard for other road users, and if you do try and pass them, you get a torrent of abuse.

Now, I ride a pushbike, but not like this.  Whatever happened to the highway code rule of cyclists having to ride in single file?  I've not read it for a while so don't know.  I do have a copy that is only a couple of years old so maybe I should have a look, but it surely doesn't give these gits total permission to do as they please. They think they're on a par with Lance fucking Armstrong, not likely, you're in a little club riding around getting in peoples way in the real world, on public roads, not a closed road in a televised event.....have a word with yourself.  Those of us on motorbikes are continually lambasted for riding quick, or being noisy, or dangerous, antisocial, blah blah blah, but we actually took a test and pay a pretty penny for the privilege, unlike you.

The other thing about cyclists which angers me greatly, and you see more of it around this time of year with it being dark, is their use of a flashing light on the front of their bike, what the actual fuck!!!!

As the perennially lovely Jennifer Aniston once said:  "Here's the science bit."  The human eyes and brain can't focus quick enough on a 1200 lumen strobe to judge it's speed and distance.  All it sees is a bastard flashing light.  It could be 50ft away at a standstill or 20ft away doing 25mph, it doesn't matter.  I'm sure a flashing light on the front of a vehicle is illegal isn't it?  Time to check that highway code book again, but I'm sure that since the cyclists guilty of such behaviour are saving the planet by cycling and not killing babies or local Stote habitats by using an evil diesel car, then these self righteous wankers have nothing to be afraid of......except maybe being knocked off by someone who's retinas have just burned away by some twats Cannondale with an early 90s rave strobe masquerading as a headlight, clamped to the handlebars. 

SOLID FRONT NIGHT, SAFE AT NIGHT.

That's some marketing/propaganda/public service announcement slogan drivel I just made up, prepare to see on a bus shelter ad soon, but you saw it here first.

Anyway, cyclists, how about riding sensibly, and get a sensible, solid, front light, then I won't have to shout at you anymore.

Part 2 to follow, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and remember....

Be safe, don't be a twat.


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