Mainly not about racing

Sunday, June 4th 2017. 08;15. M27, westbound.  There he is, look, Grant Fribbens, ol' comedy barnet himself.  He was no doubt on his way to Torch for some 1/10th off road action,  I'm beeping to attract his attention, but like an elderly person who has just wronged you and knows it, he refuses to make eye contact and stares ahead.

Me?  Well, myself and Lei are off to South Coast RC for round 3 of their Summer Off Road Orgy.  Lei did barbeque too which was nice.  It went like this:  I drove around, got pole in the B.  Got away and pulled a 2 lap lead, only for my clutch bearings to shit themselves 30 seconds from the end and took not only the clutch bell but also the spur gear with it.  I got 2nd and no bump up, that's racing.  The Sworkz 350 Truggy was lovely to drive though.

None of that really matters though right now, for in the evening, I went round to my parents house to see my dad and maybe my mum.  On May 15th, only a few weeks ago , my mum had been diagnosed with terminal cancer.  In the intervening days/weeks, she had gone downhill a bit and was by now on oromorph or whatever the fuck it's called, frankly, I don't care.  I'm sat around the table chatting with my dad, and he says he's just going to check on mum.  Seconds later, he stumbles back down the stairs, picks up the phone and tells my sister: "she's gone".  My mum had died.  On Sunday, June 4th 2017, 8pm.  This moment will be etched into my brain for the rest of my life.  I couldn't believe it, and still don't.  It's like it's happening to someone else and I'm watching it, like an fpv dream.  I'm on autopilot, I'm subdued (for now), I'm mentally tired and even now (June 8th), I'm still trying to come to terms with has happened.

In 2010, my mum was 70, and for her birthday.  My friend John drove all the way down from Swadlincote in the Midlands to do the disco.  We set the gazebo up, got the rig going, food on the bar and drinks in the glasses.  Everyone came round and we had a right ol' knees up.  We even had a police car and 2 police vans turn up in an attempt to "break up a rowdy party".  I answered the door and couldn't believe my eyes with 3 coppers stood there, I swear they didn't believe me until my mum came into the hall clutching a helium balloon with 70 emblazoned upon it, wishing to know who was at the door.  They wished her a happy birthday and promptly left.

Or the time I gave her a lift to work on my RXS100 shortly after I had passed my bike test back in '95.  She was grateful, but certain she wouldn't do it again.  I suppose going down the A3 might have been a step too soon.

This was my mum, whom, as a child I would watch in amazement as she carried multiple bags of shopping and walk with them all the way from the ville to home, no taxis, no bus, no fuss.  Or the time she had my childhood nemesis up against the wall by his neck, branding him a "little shit" for his continued bullying of me, he didn't do it again.

Her legendary hospitality.  When I lived at home, my friends were always made welcome, sometimes too welcome in fact.  On several occasions this one friend would turn up at 9am on christmas morning, and would be happily offered a bacon sarnie.  Friends would stay over and there would be snacks and extra food laid on for us to feed upon.  One new year, we were all up the pub, and afterward it was back to my parents, where my friends were all offered floor space and blankets, with some breakfast in the morning.

At christmas she would make mince pies, and they were a favourite of everyone, from me to the people in the local one stop.

An incredibly houseproud woman, I was inspired, and still am, by her domestic prowess.  We didn't have a lot when I was younger and I was always made fun of for not having what the other kids had, but she taught me to be grateful for what I did have and always try to look after it, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

She was my mum, the bestest mum a son a could ever have and I'll miss her forever.

On any sunday? not quite.

9th of April marked a Sunday, it was no doubt also someones birthday, it wouldn't surprise me if it was also some inane "National something day", like National Percy Thrower day or some such, the kind no one actually gives two fucks about. However, it was also the first round of the 2017 South Coast RC Summer Gangbang, its unofficial name I hasten to add. Unfortunately, it clashed with the Truggy National in Kent, so a few regulars were missing, thus making its attendance lower than it would be normally. No matter, I chose to run the Sworkz Evo 2 and its Pro 8 Italia engine, which last saw use at last years Slough SRS round.

I'll admit it was only a half arsed attempt on my part at first. The alarm went off and I'd had such a shit weekend so far that it was a toss up between that, taking a motorbike out for a few hours or more diy. I chose to go racing. Pitting next me was a recent Sworkz/Answer RC signing, Andy Sullivan, we strike up conversation and exchange ideas, as he too is driving the Evo2. It's all good in Sworkz corner. I have a few laps practice and soon realize it's a damn sight more nimble than the truggy, and I will need to make some changes to the car.  It also turns out it's the hottest day of the year.....so far, sending the mercury rising....hang on....that sounds familiar.

1st round of Q and I get 5 laps, which is a bit pony, even by my standards. Not helped by driving over the bank or cutting as I leave pit lane. Amongst a couple of chassis changes, I change tyres for the 2nd round, going from Schumacher mini spikes in yellow compound to Pro-line Pinpoints. Which felt like a mistake at first, but having paid good money for the bastards and only used them once, I decide to persevere. I made a couple of other changes and try a couple of things with my driving, and I manage the mid/late 39s. This was enough to plonk me in the A Final.

First off though, my services as pit man are requested by fellow Sworkz driver and car park neighbour Andy. Who is in the B. Due to low numbers though, marshalls double as pit men with drivers having to drive to their pitmans marshalling position to refuel. This was to become party to Andys undoing though as I didn't notice he had cut as I was marshalling. I fuel him up and try to restart the car but to no avail. We swap plugs, still nowt. As it turns out, he told me afterwards, his glow starter was flat.

Final time for me, and I'm dead last of course, but the A is still the A. Simon Asquith was politely press ganged in to being my pitman, as he has done so before, and being of electric pursuasion, he needs the practice. I get off the line successfully and being last, I navigate the inevitable first corner balls up that usually gobbles up a third of the cars. Unfortunately, my throttle connection pops off the carb 7 minutes in, leaving me going nowhere fast. I finish the lap though as a lack of throttle return meant the carb was open enough for my car to move under it's steam. I reconnect and get back out. Only for it to happen again, so a DNF for me I'm afraid. Still, that's racing and just like the National Lottery, It could be you.

Once home and the circus unpacked from my car, I did find the front prop shaft had loosened off the pinion, thus loosing drive at the front. Also, an ominous notchy feel and noise coming from the rear gearbox, so a stripdown is in order which will result in those good chaps Pete and Karl at Answer RC sorting me out in exchange for some GBPs

So, with some track time once again under my belt, I'll hopefully be in a better position next time. I have a few massive projects at home though so racing will not be a weekly occurrence. I'm putting a fence up to hide my neighbours conservatory, much to the neighbours annoyance, so that could get messy (if you've seen a recent fb status of mine, you could take that either way). There's also a summer house and a patio in the pipeline. All with my fair hands. So stay tuned.

Stay safe kids, and remember, Cadburys Boost is slightly rippled, with a flat underside.

Back once again...

with RC racing, summat summat summat with the ill behaviour, with the ill behaviour etc etc...... Anyyyyyhoooooo.

Today, alias, aka the 12th of February 2017 marked the day I managed to return to racing after a brief hiatus doing real life shizzle, and suffering several race meets being cancelled a the last minute, however, I digress.

South Coast RC, in Three Legged Cross, were holding the *penultimate* round of their winter jamboree.  That's not it's proper name but it sounds better than plain ol' winter series I think you'll agree.  I decide on racing the Sworkz s350T US edition (to give it it's full designation) and I brave the wintery conditions where the temperature actually reached the heady heights of Fucking Cold.

Straight out of the box after nearly 3 months of no RC and I come 2nd in the 1st round of qualifying, beaten by Mr Stephen Brunsden (I'm in heat 2 btw, there were 3 heats for today).  There were enough truggies today to have held a full heat of their own but the powers that be decided instead tooooo......RallyX purists look away now........ mix truggies and buggies in the same heat (gasp)

Q2 time and I came in with a 10 lapper and a win so I was pleased with that, with Mr Brunsden in 2nd (his name will shorten throughout this blog).  Q3 was much the same, with another 10 lapper and in Q4, the bottom end on my engine had somehow leaned itself off and robbed me of any low down go I might have had which meant trying to keep the speed up but also get round the corners, it wasn't easy and did wonder if I'd actually finish the round, which I did but the Brunds beat me to 10 laps.

So then, that puts me 2nd on the grid for the B Final, Which isn't shabby.  I make a getaway and have a good opening third of the final with Steve Hamilton, each of us making passes and cock ups in equal measure.  He suffers a breakdown on his Mugen and I clear off, at some point after I had a brief skirmish with a *truggy*, who it would appear was in 1st place, I say was, because that's where I ended up.  I came in for fuel in the lead but lost it while Rob Woodrow was kind enough to chuck some Racing Experience 25% at my fuel tank in a less haphazard way than that actually insinuates.  Back out and after a fashion and a few passes, I was back in the lead.  However, several laps from the end, The *truggy* from earlier is catching me back up and I could hear words of encouragement coming in my direction so knew this other guy was on the move, *this other guy guy being Bernard btw*.  The buzzer sounds and I finish the race with a B Final win.  Top banana (I don't actually like bananas, they make me wanna puke)

Ye gods, I won the B, you know what that means don't you!  I get the bump up spot (I now qualify for the A Final) albeit in last place.  *Simon Asquith* set me off from the line while Steve Hamilton did the pitting honours.  I made a clean getaway and after negotiating the obligatory 1st corner pile up, I found myself in 4th, then further along I found myself a place or two higher.  It wasn't to be though, after knocking into Andy Tanners upside down Kyosho truggy, and a bit of a marshalling balls up which lead to everyone going past me before I was wheel side down, I end up dead last and that is unfortunately where I finished.

Anyway, hats off to the SCRC crew for a good day, Rob Woodrow and Steve Hamilton for pitting for me, Simon Asquith and the other bloke whose name I still don't know for seeing me off the line, and Tony RC Scott for driving into me on purpose in the air after I accidentally drove over you, all part of the banter.  Thanks also to Pete and Karl at Answer RC, without whom I'd still probably be kicking about with a Hyper ST.

See you all soon.


* * - denotes amendment

so far it's all been a bit......

Well, on December 29th, I felt a bit rough, I got through the day and thought nowt of it.  To cut a long story short, from the 30th onwards, I was sick as a dog, pissing out of my arse with blood chucked in for good measure, so happy new year.  I didn't return to work on 3rd of January as scheduled but spent untill the 7th, in bed, not eating.  Didn't feel back to normal until the weekend of the 14th/15th.  Turns out I had Campylobacter, a strain of food poisoning. A week later we were at the hospital again as Lei sliced her finger with a new knife, now I have a crappy cold.  

In the xmas week though I did fit some new lights in my crappy workshop, 3 new electronic battens with daylight tubes, wow, what a difference.  If you have a similar workspace I recommend going the daylight way.  Makes working on anything, soldering, motorbikes or otherwise so much easier. 

Talking of bikes, I visited facebook recently, and as you know, I have a bit of a love/hate thing with it, anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to find 3 of my friends had tagged me in some copy and paste thing about motorbikes.  It's all generic social media behaviour I know but someone had taken the time to type my name in which means I was thought of.  I haven't copied/pasted or posted anything yet but will do when I get to my pc. 

At the same time I notice I have been deleted as a friend by a fellow motorcyclist.  Here is a man who, since he passed his test 18 months ago, I have tried to help, advise and even ridden with on several occasions.  My only crime?  I took the piss out of him, which, frankly is normal behaviour for friends.  It's what we do, it's called banter, it's not malicious, and as the son of a bricklayer, it was drummed into me at childhood that if I didn't learn to take a joke when it was given out, I'd have a miserable life. 

If all the biker friends I'd met over the years behaved like this, my friends list would be empty and there'd be no one to go on breakfast runs with.  If you are reading this and you are that person, be thankful you met me now and not 15 years ago, I'm not half as good as I was.  Oh yeah, watch yourself when buying a new pair of tyres, I hear having two different makes on either end of your bike is just as good as 2 from the same manufacturer. All that matching pair talk?  That's just someone filling your head with shit. You're an alright bloke, but you have issues. Sort yourself out and come out for a ride you twat.

Cyclists, why do some of you choose to have a flashing light on the front of your bike as opposed to a solid one?  Are you a bit simple? Do you not know that's it is illegal to have a flashing white light on the front of your vehicle? It is meant to be solid. It probably has something to do with the human brain/eye combo not being able to process the speed and distance of a strobe light. Every time I see one I feel like breaking out some early Prodigy or Altern-8. You see them all lycra'd up, toad helmet on, miners torch, the lot, but they'd be the first to complain if you took one out. “are you blind? Can't you see the 6000 lumen light on the front of my bike?” “no, twat, cos it's basically a flashing strobe, which is illegal”. Use the road, I don't have a problem with that at all, but use a proper front light.

There has been no racing. I was due to hit Clanfield on the 22^nd, but it was cancelled due to frost, and I was due at South Coast RC today, but that too was cancelled due to rain, so I guess an hour on VRC will have to do for now I'm afraid.

I'd love to hear from you if you actually read this, I have no idea as to who actually reads it or if any notice is taken. The only thing I do know is that I have no subscribers. Please feel free to comment.

Catch yaz later

Tis the season.....

.....For singing christmas songs.  Yes folks, it's time for parties and celebrations etc etc.  I hope you're all set, at Chez Croucher, the wife has been busy xmasfying the lounge, ck knows why, she's pagan, but I suppose it's because it looks cosy at night and the kids like it.  In fact, it almost warms my cold and cynical heart.

I've been playing the odd seasonal tune too, suffering the earworm that is Andy Williams' "it's the most wonderful of the year" for days on end, still, it's not a tat song and at least he could hold a note and has plenty more to his catalogue than that one song.  We'll also be watching Die Hard imminently too, as we do.
      While watching Arrow the other day, Oliver Queen was holding a christmas party and giving a mayoral speech.

Oliver: "one of my favourite christmas films ever, is Die Hard".

Leilei: "YEESSSSSSSSSS"

Right in my ear.


Racing, took the Sworkz S12-1m to Torch last week, the track was piss wet through and misty, I came last all morning, beating only the step son with his FTX edge in his third ever visit to the club, mind you, in my defense I was on Schumacher Yellow minispikes and driving a laydown gearbox car.  Also it was only the 2nd time I had driven that car, the 1st being in May, in the sunshine.  Best not hang on to that result methinks.

I was meant to be racing my truggy this past weekend at Clanfield, in a bid to avenge my DNF a few weeks previously, unfortunately, I woke up on saturday with a sore throat, and in the hours that followed, snot flowed freely from my nose and prevented me from sleeping properly.  However, I still got up to go racing but fell fowl of not having enough sleep and feeling a bit crap so once I woke up again for the 3rd time, I thought it best to put everything away again.  I see they had a good day, just wish I was well enough.  Oh well, there's always next time.


We went out for breakfast the other week.  Took the bike out on a bitter cold saturday morning and rode to a cafe called the Departure Lounge Cafe.  We had the large breakfast, which came with the most awesome fried eggs.  Nothing fancy about them as such except they were perfectly cooked, and piping hot, unlike ya 5 quid breakfast from wetherspoons.
       I highly recommend that cafe if you're of a motoring persuasion.  It is on the A339 (aka the death road) just north of Alton.


Anyway, I doubt I'll see you before Christmas, maybe I'll bump into on Boxing Day if you happen to be in Wickham Square in the morning.

Stay safe kids, and remember, even a chocolate teapot is of use, only once mind, and very briefly, but still of use.

Laterz

Back to track

Well, I've kept THE name change, I quite like it.  I can imagine there's a Mr Quagraine somewhere either feeling flattered or uttering "prick" under his breath, no matter, I shall continue.

After a brief hiatus from racing due to real life, I had to get back to it so popped up to round 2 of Clanfields winter series.  Now, my last time out was the Dirtmasters at the same circuit, and where I cooked my servos and put my back out, leaving me confined to the lounge floor for 3 days.  So I was hoping my day would be less painful than last time, both physically and financially.  

The Sworkz s350 T US edition was stripped and cleaned after the dirtmasters and was festooned with a pair of XPert HV Sefvos courtesy of Pete and Karl at Answer RC, so it was ready to rock, or so I thought.

I pull into the track and realize I've forgotten my spares cache.  I usually pack them first so I know it's done, only this time I was rejigging the packing of the car to fit the 80L really useful box which is full of sets of truggy wheels, thanks to Mr P S Taylor.  Anyway, what could go wrong?  Not broken anything before. So should be top banana all day.  Ha.

Massive truggy turnout at Clanfield but I was still the only Sworkz guy there, challenge accepted.  Unfortunately, when I forgot my spares I set in motion a series of events that would put me up against it for the rest of the day, like in one of those films that contain time travel and some bollocks about destiny and other tripe like that.

Throttle servo arm came off during Q1, but that's clearly down to ppp, I rejoined and finished.  In Q2, I had a massive get off and broke the rear toe block.  This wouldn't have been a problem had I remembered my spares.  It looked like my day was over, until I remembered the T-Pro chassis guard I run, it's labeled as sworkz/mugen, so maybe a Mugen toe in block.would fit.  Thanks to Steve Hamilton and his box of Mugen bits, I shoehorn the block on and if fits, just.

Out for Q4 as I missed Q3 due to spannering up my Mugen bodge, and this time, a rear shock shaft pulls free of its ball joint, sending the spring and its retaining cup in to yonder, thankfully this happens only half a lap from the end so I limp across the line to get 3rd.  Looks like I'm going home though as I can't find my spring or cup anywhere.

Matt Perry finds my spring at the other end of the track from where I was looking, no cup though, time to utilize bear grylls style skillz (but without the camera/lighting/sound/H&S/makeup/nutrition/diplomatic people)  I find a 6 armed servo horn and use that as a spring cup, looks well crap but needs must.  Minutes  before the final though another fellow finds the cup.  A mad rush ensues to swap it for my lash up.

I'm 4th on the grid despite destinys best attempts at doing me over and after a messy start and calming myself down over the first 2 laps,  I settle to a rhythm, then, myself and the car seem to click, almost on a zen like level, with soft focus and doves flying out from my transmitter in slo mo, and I'm banging in consistent laps.  Graham "Sloppy" Alsop is the only one in front of me but he clears off to another dimension, a bit like Doctor Strange.  Unfortunately, it wasn't to continue, something fails 10 laps in leaving the 350T to drag its arse back to pit lane, that something turns out to be the Mugen bodge.  Where the Sworkz inner hinge pins screw into the front block but are captured by the toe in block inserts, the Mugen pins just screw in, with open inserts and the heads outside of the block, meaning if they unscrew, they come out, which they did, which meant a dnf, but also a 6th place.  In hindsight, I could've run back to the paddock, grabbed an allen driver and screwed them back in, but I was chuffed I had got that far and how the car was going, so I let it be, letting destiny have it's way so it could fuck off and leave me alone.

Many thanks to Pete at Answer RC, with whom a quick phone call earlier today yielded an ali toe in block and latest spec shock ends.  Steve Hamilton for his Mugen bits, Tony Bolwell for making the track good once again (I still have anodizing on the bottom after 2 visits) and obviously the rest of the racers who turned up to make the day.

Stay safe kids, and remember, cyanoacrylate does not make a good eye cream.

Laterz

THE name change

Ok, by now you've noticed something different, yes, I've changed the name of my blog. It may ring a bell with some RC-ers and it's not because I'm taking the piss or want a slice of the action, oh no siree.

There's a guy, an international RC racer, by the name of Joseph Quagraine. I don't know him, I won't even pretend I do. He had the balls to develop, make and market his own RC car. He called this, THE Car, and subsequently, all the merchandise since then has THE preceding what the item is, ie: THE pit towel, THE car stand, etc etc, you get the idea.

Alas, here is a guy who voices his opinion via social media and of course his own website, called THE Quagraine, oddly enough. Anyway, I've read a few of his articles which I've enjoyed and seen a couple of vids on neobuggy. He tends to speak his mind, something I've been known for in the past. He tells it how he sees it, lets people have it with both barrels if need be. I like that. He doesn't give a monkeys who he pisses off but he seems passionate about his business, as well as the sport his business revolves around, as one would. A kind of Maverick, if you will. So the blogs name change is a nod, a tip of the hat, to this bloke.  He looks to have haters and followers in equal measure but he is always an interesting read.

In one of his posts a short while ago, he went on to say that everyone is sponsored these days and that it is killing the sport. If Mr Quagraine should ever happen upon this blog entry of mine, I'd say I have to disagree with him there. Now, we both race rc cars, that is where the similarities end. He is an international pro, and I'm just a club guy, we're on complete opposite ends of the spectrum, with him being as far beyond me in terms of the hobby/sport as modern atheist man is beyond narrow minded religious nutjobs living in caves, or trailer parks. Anyway, this year, I got my very first supported drive, call it what you like, being sponsored, supported drive, whatever. Prior to that, I was just doing the odd club round at just one club, upon being given a drive, I invested in a lot of new stuff, including cars, engines etc.  I have tried to promote the brand of which I drive and my sponsor and show them both in a positive light, which they well deserve. What I have also done since being gifted the drive is attend more races, and participate in a regional championship, which required travelling. Now, I doubt I would have done that before, but I can say the sponsorship helped go some way in making it more affordable to race at more clubs. How does this kill the sport Mr Q?  I think, and this is just my opinion of course, being at the top of tree, Mr Quagraine might have lost sight of the grass roots side of things, if he was ever involved at all.  

Anyhow, that's just my opinion, and like arseholes, everybody has one. If Mr Quagraine ever has time to waste on reading this column, I hope he has an opinion on it and lets me know, because he has his opinion, and I have mine. Now, what is THE opinion on the blogs name change? Keep it or change it back?

Answers below please or where ever I have posted this link.